i have four walls around me i have pictures of a window that opens up to the outside. i listen to the radio and i sit here wanting to get out but i don’t know where to go. wherever i go i reach wall that surrounds me. I hit the wall and the wall hits me back and with a thump i go down. i get heavier and heavier and think that i will soon fall through the floor. i have fish that stare at me, every month it is a different fish and towards the end of the month the eyes of the fish lose their brightness and you know they would smell if they were really here. the fish change and I change and i hope that they won’t die as they always do. so i am sitting, there is no use standing up.